Love, in Real Life
An 8-week relationship reset, built on the Relationship Realignment Method
“He’s a good man. But I feel resentful, and I don’t want to.”
If that sentence is yours, this is for you. Eight live calls over eight weeks, with a Telegram group in between, to understand what the resentment is telling you and change what is actually yours to change. Not so you can change him, and not so you can become a better wife.
The first 5 people to join also get a free 60-minute one-on-one with me. See below.
Questions before you decide? Email me at hello@tehillaluttig.com. I answer them myself.
Doors close Monday 26 October at midnight US Eastern.
It was never just a communication problem.
He’d do anything you asked. And you’re still the one who notices what needs doing.
You remember what everyone needs, start the hard conversations and keep the peace. You’ve read the books. You’ve worked on your anxiety. You’ve prayed about the resentment and tried harder to be grateful.
It keeps coming back. Not because you haven’t tried hard enough, but because you’ve been working on the surface of something that started long before him.
You’re probably too busy to notice how alone you feel. From the outside you’re fine. You’re the capable one, with a good husband and a good life, and you feel you should be grateful.
Relationship Realignment goes underneath: to who you learned to be in relationship, what you’ve been carrying, and what keeps you both stuck.
What changes
Picture the school holiday nobody planned.
The usual advice says: make a shared list, have a calm conversation, divide the tasks. You’ve tried that. You ended up managing the list. Then he says “just tell me what to do,” and the resentment rises again.
In this group you learn why it feels unsafe to leave something unplanned, why you’re running on empty before you’ve started, and what the resentment is trying to tell you. Then the tools work, because you’re no longer using them to manage him. You’re using them to stop carrying what isn’t yours.
You’ll still feel things. But you catch them a few seconds sooner, and in those seconds you have a choice you didn’t have before. You can say what you need without swallowing it or starting a fight. And you can see, honestly, whether the load can be shared differently between you.
I can’t promise how he will respond. I can show you what’s yours to do, and give you a room full of support while you practise it.
Who’s guiding you
I’m a relationship and identity coach and an author, and I’ve worked with people on their relationships since 2013.
I work from Hermanus, South Africa, with clients in the US and the UK, most of them women. A lot of them are good partners and good mothers who are tired, and quietly resentful about it. They don’t want to leave. They want to feel like themselves again, and close to their husbands again.
Most of what I teach here is what I teach my private clients. This group puts it in a room with other people, so you get the practice and the company. My approach is grace-based and real-life: no pretending, no shame, and nothing you have to earn.
- 13 years in private practice
- Gottman Level 2 trained
- BWRT
- Discernment Counselling
- Honours in Psychology, UCT
What you get
- 8 live calls
- Wednesdays at 12pm US Eastern, 60 minutes each, with an optional 30 minutes of Q&A afterwards. That’s 6pm in South Africa on 28 October, then 7pm from 4 November, when the US clocks change.
- A Telegram group
- Support between calls, so you’re not holding it alone until next Wednesday.
- A journal and weekly workflow
- Each week ends with one clear thing to practise before the next call.
- Recordings
- Every call is recorded and kept for a year, so you can catch up if you miss one. I recommend coming live when you can, because the calls are collaborative and you learn more when you take part.
- A small group
- 10 seats in Group 1. Individuals and couples join the same calls.
Thanksgiving week’s call moves to Monday 23 November, same time. The last call is Wednesday 16 December, before Christmas.
| # | Date | US East. | UK | S. Africa |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Wed 28 Oct | 12pm EDT | 4pm GMT | 6pm SAST |
| 2 | Wed 4 Nov | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 3 | Wed 11 Nov | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 4 | Wed 18 Nov | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 5 | Mon 23 NovThanksgiving week | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 6 | Wed 2 Dec | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 7 | Wed 9 Dec | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 8 | Wed 16 Dec | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
The eight places relationships get stuck
We take one a week. You’ll probably recognise yourself in most of them, and each builds on the one before.
Patterns
“Why do we keep ending up here?”
The same fight in different clothes. You’ll see the attachment style, nervous system response and roles behind it, and separate who you are from what you learned to do. The aim isn’t to label you or blame your past.
Communication
“I’ve explained it a hundred ways.”
You can choose your words carefully and still not be heard. This week is about how you listen, how you say what you mean, and finding out why it isn’t landing.
Conflict
“I either explode or go quiet.”
What happens in you, and between you, when it gets heated: the patterns that make arguments worse, and how to pause and come back.
Emotional Intelligence
“Why am I this upset about a lunchbox?”
Understanding what you feel, so it informs you instead of running the room. Anger is often hurt, fear or exhaustion wearing a louder coat.
Boundaries & Resentment
“Why is it always me?”
What’s yours, what’s his, and what you’ve quietly made your job, including the invisible load of remembering, planning and keeping the peace. Resentment is information worth understanding, not something to confess and bury.
Repair
“We never finish a fight. We just stop having it.”
What happens after things go wrong, so it stops piling up. You’ll learn what real repair involves, beyond a quick apology.
Trust & Intimacy
“We’re good partners. I just don’t feel close to him.”
Closeness when you’re both tired, and enough safety to want things again. It grows through honesty, consistency and repair.
Identity & the Way Forward
“I don’t recognise myself.”
Who you are underneath all the roles, and what you want to build from here. In the last week you’ll choose what to keep practising, learn to receive care without earning it, and leave with a plan for ordinary life after the group ends.
Grace and growth, together
This group is grace-based, and openly so. It isn’t a Bible study, and there’s nothing to earn your way through. You’ll never be asked to shame yourself into changing.
If you’re a woman of faith, you probably want your love to carry patience, humility and grace, and you may feel the gap between that and a hard evening at home. You know forgiveness matters. You also know it can still hurt.
Grace means you can look honestly at your patterns without being reduced to your worst moments. Growth means you take real, practical steps. Neither cancels the other.
You can forgive and still need a boundary. You can serve and still have limits. You’re allowed to be a work in progress who needs support.
We pray together, for those who’d like to.
If you’re the husband reading this
This isn’t only for her.
You may be the good man she’s describing: giving her space, deferring to her, doing what you think she needs. When she brings you something emotional, you try to solve it with logic, and she walks away feeling more alone. Two good people, trying hard, and still missing each other.
When you say “just tell me what to do,” you mean well. This group shows you what she’s actually asking for, and gives you tools that work with a real wife.
You can join with a seat of your own, or the two of you can join together on the couples option. Nobody will make you the villain. I work with a lot of men like you, and they are usually trying very hard to do the right thing.
What people say
“Tehilla’s group was exactly what my husband and I needed. We were both seeing great results in individual and couples therapy but kept getting stuck on the same issues (spending, intimacy, extended family, etc.). Spending this time with Tehilla and the other members made us realize that a) we are not alone; and b) these challenges are solvable. She gave us the tools we needed to work together and the language we needed to make things better in our marriage, not damage it more. … I 10/10 recommend this program!”
“No book could have helped me to develop my boundaries like you did!”
“Thank you for always making me feel so safe and seen. I say this every session, but I’m so grateful for you.”
“The level of support you provide for me is so special and something I hadn’t experienced before meeting you.”
“Tehilla Luttig is amazing at attachment issues/work and relationship coaching. My husband and I have worked with her and we can’t recommend her enough.”
“If you’re looking for the real deal and someone with integrity, experience and credentials...she is it.”
What you get
- 8 live calls
- Wednesdays at 12pm US Eastern, 60 minutes each, with an optional 30 minutes of Q&A afterwards. That’s 6pm in South Africa on 28 October, then 7pm from 4 November, when the US clocks change.
- A Telegram group
- Support between calls, so you’re not holding it alone until next Wednesday.
- A journal and weekly workflow
- Each week ends with one clear thing to practise before the next call.
- Recordings
- Every call is recorded and kept for a year, so you can catch up if you miss one. I recommend coming live when you can, because the calls are collaborative and you learn more when you take part.
- A small group
- 10 seats in Group 1. Individuals and couples join the same calls.
Thanksgiving week’s call moves to Monday 23 November, same time. The last call is Wednesday 16 December, before Christmas.
| # | Date | US East. | UK | S. Africa |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Wed 28 Oct | 12pm EDT | 4pm GMT | 6pm SAST |
| 2 | Wed 4 Nov | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 3 | Wed 11 Nov | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 4 | Wed 18 Nov | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 5 | Mon 23 NovThanksgiving week | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 6 | Wed 2 Dec | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 7 | Wed 9 Dec | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
| 8 | Wed 16 Dec | 12pm EST | 5pm GMT | 7pm SAST |
The eight places relationships get stuck
We take one a week. You’ll probably recognise yourself in most of them, and each builds on the one before.
Patterns
“Why do we keep ending up here?”
The same fight in different clothes. You’ll see the attachment style, nervous system response and roles behind it, and separate who you are from what you learned to do. The aim isn’t to label you or blame your past.
Communication
“I’ve explained it a hundred ways.”
You can choose your words carefully and still not be heard. This week is about how you listen, how you say what you mean, and finding out why it isn’t landing.
Conflict
“I either explode or go quiet.”
What happens in you, and between you, when it gets heated: the patterns that make arguments worse, and how to pause and come back.
Emotional Intelligence
“Why am I this upset about a lunchbox?”
Understanding what you feel, so it informs you instead of running the room. Anger is often hurt, fear or exhaustion wearing a louder coat.
Boundaries & Resentment
“Why is it always me?”
What’s yours, what’s his, and what you’ve quietly made your job, including the invisible load of remembering, planning and keeping the peace. Resentment is information worth understanding, not something to confess and bury.
Repair
“We never finish a fight. We just stop having it.”
What happens after things go wrong, so it stops piling up. You’ll learn what real repair involves, beyond a quick apology.
Trust & Intimacy
“We’re good partners. I just don’t feel close to him.”
Closeness when you’re both tired, and enough safety to want things again. It grows through honesty, consistency and repair.
Identity & the Way Forward
“I don’t recognise myself.”
Who you are underneath all the roles, and what you want to build from here. In the last week you’ll choose what to keep practising, learn to receive care without earning it, and leave with a plan for ordinary life after the group ends.
Grace and growth, together
This group is grace-based, and openly so. It isn’t a Bible study, and there’s nothing to earn your way through. You’ll never be asked to shame yourself into changing.
If you’re a woman of faith, you probably want your love to carry patience, humility and grace, and you may feel the gap between that and a hard evening at home. You know forgiveness matters. You also know it can still hurt.
Grace means you can look honestly at your patterns without being reduced to your worst moments. Growth means you take real, practical steps. Neither cancels the other.
You can forgive and still need a boundary. You can serve and still have limits. You’re allowed to be a work in progress who needs support.
We pray together, for those who’d like to.
If you’re the husband reading this
This isn’t only for her.
You may be the good man she’s describing: giving her space, deferring to her, doing what you think she needs. When she brings you something emotional, you try to solve it with logic, and she walks away feeling more alone. Two good people, trying hard, and still missing each other.
When you say “just tell me what to do,” you mean well. This group shows you what she’s actually asking for, and gives you tools that work with a real wife.
You can join with a seat of your own, or the two of you can join together on the couples option. Nobody will make you the villain. I work with a lot of men like you, and they are usually trying very hard to do the right thing.
What people say
“Tehilla’s group was exactly what my husband and I needed. We were both seeing great results in individual and couples therapy but kept getting stuck on the same issues (spending, intimacy, extended family, etc.). Spending this time with Tehilla and the other members made us realize that a) we are not alone; and b) these challenges are solvable. She gave us the tools we needed to work together and the language we needed to make things better in our marriage, not damage it more. … I 10/10 recommend this program!”
“No book could have helped me to develop my boundaries like you did!”
“Thank you for always making me feel so safe and seen. I say this every session, but I’m so grateful for you.”
“The level of support you provide for me is so special and something I hadn’t experienced before meeting you.”
“Tehilla Luttig is amazing at attachment issues/work and relationship coaching. My husband and I have worked with her and we can’t recommend her enough.”
“If you’re looking for the real deal and someone with integrity, experience and credentials...she is it.”
Your investment
A private 60-minute session with me, worth $400. Book it any time from 29 October, the day after the first call, until the last call on 16 December. One per place.
You hear your own pattern come out of someone else’s mouth. That’s part of why the group works.
Love, in Real Life gives you eight live calls with me, the Telegram group between them, and the weekly workflow, from $997. You share the room with other people, so you get the practice and the company.
Group 1 has 10 seats and starts Wednesday 28 October. If it fills, a second group opens.
Questions before you pay? Email me at hello@tehillaluttig.com. I’m a real person, and I’ll answer you myself.
Refunds. Each group takes a lot of preparation, so payments aren’t refundable once the programme starts, with one exception. If you attend the first call and it isn’t the right fit, tell me within 48 hours of the first call and I’ll keep one eighth of the programme price for week 1 and refund the rest of what you’ve paid. Any remaining instalments stop. If you cancel before 28 October, I’ll refund what you’ve paid minus a small admin fee of $75.
Is this for you?
You don’t need to have it figured out, be free of anger or insecurity, or arrive as the most emotionally mature person in the room. You need a willingness to look, practise and take responsibility for your own part.
A good fit if you
- Want to grow in how you relate, not collect more evidence that someone else is wrong.
- Are tired of repeating the same patterns and want to understand what drives them.
- Want to communicate more clearly, set kinder limits and handle conflict better.
- Value a grace-based, faith-informed approach that still makes room for honesty and accountability.
Not the right fit if you
- Want a way to change your partner without looking at yourself.
- Want a guarantee about how your relationship will turn out.
- Are in a relationship where you’re afraid for your safety. This group isn’t the right place for that, and I’ll point you to better support.
Your partner doesn’t have to join for your growth to count. You can learn your patterns, build your skills and make different choices on your own. Couples are welcome too, and join together.
A safe room for everyone
Everyone in this group is sharing something tender, so the room has to be safe for all of them. Respect is a condition of joining.
If you or your partner tend to attack, belittle or lose control in conflict, this group isn’t the right fit. If someone’s behaviour disrupts the group once it has started, I may ask them to leave. If that happens, I’ll refund the remaining weeks pro rata, minus the same $75 admin fee.
Questions
Is this therapy?
No. It’s coaching and education, and it doesn’t replace therapy or medical care.
Does my partner have to join?
No. Most women start on their own, and your growth stands on its own. You can change your part in the pattern without doing his part for him. If you’d like to do it together, the couples option puts you both on the calls.
What time are the calls?
Wednesdays at 12pm US Eastern. That’s 6pm in South Africa on 28 October, then 7pm from 4 November. Thanksgiving week’s call moves to Monday 23 November, same time. The table above shows UK times too.
What if I can’t make a call?
Every call is recorded, so you can watch it later. Recordings are kept for a year. I do recommend coming live when you can, because I run the calls collaboratively and you learn more when you take part. You only share what you’re comfortable sharing.
I’m not comfortable sharing in a group.
Share as much or as little as you like. The journal and the Telegram group give you other ways to take part.
I’m in South Africa. Is there rand pricing?
Yes, ask me about it at hello@tehillaluttig.com.
What if Group 1 fills?
I’ll open a second group and tell you the dates.
Can I ask you something before I join?
Yes. Email hello@tehillaluttig.com.
Ready when you are
Group 1 starts Wednesday 28 October. Ten seats. Doors close Monday 26 October at midnight US Eastern.
You don’t have to become someone else to begin. You only have to be willing to look.
Not sure yet? Email me at hello@tehillaluttig.com. I’m happy to answer anything before you join.